Finding Hope in Distress

For the past several months, I have had a growing sense of depression about what I was observing in so many people in relation to the recent political election.   I know, ‘spare me the commentary of the political process or opinions about who should have won’.   Beyond that there have been some deeply troubling tendencies in our world that cause me pause and, frankly, make me very sad and distressed.  I am worried about the re-emergence of the ‘us vs them’ mentality whether it expresses itself in racism, sexism, religion and/or culture.  The world has become increasingly smaller and the diversity of our society has stirred new thinking about who we are in finding our way to live and relate to one another.  The challenge for us is finding the way to resist the popular blame game that isolates us from our neighbors.  Whether that isolation infects our local community, our cities or, indeed, the global relations we have come to need, we simply cannot afford to isolate ourselves without paying a dear price at all levels.  And yet, it appears headed in that direction.

I find myself on this ‘morning after’ wondering what do we do next?  Frankly it is a bit overwhelming to experience this question in the moment.  And yet, we must deeply reflect on the kind of world, the kind of relationships we choose to have with one another.  This causes me to search for the glimmer of hope somewhere in this crazy, messy world.  

I have long believed that the fundamental secret to healthy groups, organizations and communities is discovered in building and sustaining healthy relationships.  Relationships are so foundational to our greatest accomplishments. Hi performing teams demonstrate healthy relationships.  Organizations that value their members more than the bottom line are committed to inclusive human resource relationships.  Healthy relationships can breathe life into our journey on this earth.  Healthy relationships cannot be built or sustained on the platform of isolation.  So how is it that we can move ahead?

For those who share this value, we are called upon to increase our efforts to bring people together.  Those who desire to build a better world will be challenged to come together in truly meaningful conversations about our lives, our values and our dreams for a better future.  There will need to be a renewal of our commitment to be unifiers, peace makers and healing agents among the broken.  

These conversations will only bear fruit through a profound commitment to the art of listening, without judgement, blame or shame.  In the past year, this very tough world that we live in just got tougher. Without being naïve to the violent evil of fundamentalism or the abusive power of others, we will only find hope when we are able to join with others of like mind and heart to build and sustain community.  Through sustaining this spirit of community, we can find the courage and strength to reach out to others to welcome them in.  By truly listening to one another we come to know ourselves better.  We can also come to be more keenly aware of our position of privilege when necessary and prepare ourselves to enter into one another’s space with integrity and respect.

YES, we can!

Next week I have the privilege of doing some training with a group in British Columbia on the Art of Hosting.  This could not be more timely for me….I will share some insights from this special opportunity soon.

The War Within

Is Fear the new exploiter of the people?  Or will we find courage in the arms of Fear?

Recent events have stirred and disturbed me greatly.  The lives of innocent folks who have been profiled and inexplicably killed by police, the overflow of anger leading to police assassinations, the increase of horrific terrorist attacks and the degradation of men, women and children by religious zealots can make me feel that Armageddon has arrived!  What’s it all about?  Has the world gone crazy?

I suppose we could continue to address individual issues on a case by case basis.  Should police be given different training in managing crises?  Should the poor be managed differently to help those who feel most out of the loop to calm down and find new means of garnering hope for their future?  Should we find new and better ways to destroy terrorist groups?  The questions are endless.  Do Black lives really matter?  Should there be more acceptance and respect for the LGBT communities?  Are the physically, mentally or developmentally handicapped worth all the effort?  On and on!

Everywhere I go, I hear more and more folks talking about this in various ways, some not so unifying but all based on fear.  Fear for the safety of their children and families, fear for their jobs, fear for the world they thought they knew.  Anger mounts as corporate brain trusts find new ways to increase profits by downsizing their work forces.  Have more part time, unstable workers so there is less need for benefits and ease for flexing the size of the workforce.  Insecurity is everywhere and this rouses deep and lasting feelings of fear and resentment.

Has Fear become the new exploiter of the marginalized.  Is it reaching its vicious tentacles into the heart of the larger population of people leading us to even greater distrust and more individualized sense of survival?  Will fear eventually imprison us preventing us from becoming our freest, truest and most whole selves as both individuals and communities?

It seems to me that we are engaged in a new war.  The war is within.  No longer can we ignore what is going on around us.  No longer is the threat of over-reaction to social and emotional issues something that happens in another city or country.  Now is a time when we must both individually and collectively become a people who engage in meaningful discussion about how beautiful life is and that to sustain that beauty we must fight the battle within.  It is a battle of the times that faces our inner feelings of distrust and uncertainty through building relationships that can become open to dialogue, filled with compassion and determined to take back a spirit of unity and collective oneness.  To do this we each must face our own demons.  For one it may be afraid of unknown cultures, persons or ideas.  For another it may be re-evaluating our value base that says that gathering wealth is the only means for security.  For yet another it may be resolving and letting go of past traumatic hurts that have deeply influenced our perspective on survival -‘fight or flight’.  No longer will it just go away with time.

The time is now!  Now is the time to name that new exploitive force in our midst…FEAR!  We must not only name it but look it in the eye, confront it and say NO!  A friend once wrote that “Everybody knows that Courage is found in the arms of fear.”  Can we find the courage to ask the right questions?

      

Hey, how does it feel and what does it mean to you to be Native Canadian?  How is your life as a       special needs person?  What does work, long hours and more money really mean to me?  Why do       you protest for “Black Lives Matter’?   What has it been like growing up in our world knowing         that you are gay or lesbian?  Can we talk about the truths we hold in common beyond our ‘isms’?    Jewish, Evangelical, Catholic, Native Spirituality, Islam, Buddhist, etc. etc.?  What does gender         equality mean to you at its best?  Will we take the time to hear and really listen to one another’s           story?  Cause we ALL have a story and that story makes meaning for us (positive or negative)…         and it means something important to each of us.  What is the meaningful discussion you would like   to have with a stranger?

Somehow, we cannot tackle this major challenge without Faith.  I am not talking here about religion.  Religious institutions have let us down too often so now is the time to trust one another and our Creator.  Deep within each of us is that life-giving force, our spirit that keeps us in relationship with a higher power that is our life force.  We may each have a name for that higher power but while the name may be different that higher power is the same…..Creator.  Our inner sense of that relationship is what drives us to goodness.  It is that desire for goodness, truth and peace that will drive our courage to face this vicious disease called FEAR.

Courage, go forth, heal one another.

A Perspective from Rome

I just returned from meetings with an international group of sisters and mission partners within Good Shepherd.  This was a fascinating time to share thoughts and visions for the future of our mission of service and healing among women, children and families whose lives have left them outside the mainstream.  It was so inspiring to meet with folks from so many parts of the world including Africa, Asia, Latin America, Europe and North  America.  To be with such a diverse group and yet experience how much we held in common as shepherds of people, how similar our value systems were, how parallel our needs, hopes and dreams was a most inspiring moment of unity and hope for a world that can be truly diverse and yet one in our desire for peace and justice.

The week flew by with such positive messages even in the face of the many tragic events that can occur across our world.  During this week was the atrocious killing of gay and lesbian people in Orlando, the murder of a British MP in Scotland, and the ongoing atrocities against women and girls through the pervasive new slavery we call international trafficking.  I remember in my youth when we gathered at events to scream out, “NO to war and YES to peace”.  Perhaps one day this world will find itself in that communal place to proclaim the desire of all peoples for peace, harmony and fairness of right relationships.

At the general house in Rome there was a framed quote from one the truly inspiring Sisters of the Good Shepherd.  She was the author of a book called Redemption where she addressed many of our current challenges in bringing compassion and healing to this wounded world.  She talks a lot about the image of the Shepherd that we so tenderly embrace for ourselves.  In this quote, Sr. Barbara Davis says:

“To fight off the wolf, one cannot at the same time cuddle the lamb. To perform the function of nurturing and caring is very important, but there are times when it is necessary to turn attention and give our energy against what oppresses and threatens.  It is BECAUSE of the value of the sheep, BECAUSE the shepherd values them so highly that one enters into this struggle.

The Shepherd as the one who fights off the ravaging attack of the wolf, even at the cost of one’s life, is a far more daunting, perhaps less attractive image than that of the Shepherd looking for the lost sheep or lamb and carrying it on the shoulders. But surely it represents one of the very necessary tasks of anyone who calls herself a good shepherd.”

This beautiful message caught my attention in the gentleness of our spirit together last week.  It was such a pointed reminder for me how the fulfillment of our vocation to be Christian in this world is more than living a good life in faith and good works.  It is more than a warm smile and a welcoming message.  We are also called to work for change of all those structures, obstacles and people whose actions bring about the dehumanization and degradation of all people, especially the poor.  Fear must never be our guiding light in the darkness.  Faith must never be naïve and can never truly be only a personal experience with God.  We are called into relationship not only with God but with one another.  For this reason, that sometimes unspoken need for community, for surrounding ourselves with persons who will encourage, strengthen and teach us to live as we are invited, in peace, may be the very thing we need to awaken in our hearts and actions.

“Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart”

I feel compelled to tell you the story of a very special woman.  She was the Founder of the Religious Congregation of the Sisters of the Good Shepherd.  She is a saint and she lived a long time ago.  She was born in 1796 in France actually on the island of Noirmoutier, off the west coast of France.  She died on April 24, 1868.  She was baptised Rose Virginie Pelletier.  Over the years, I have come to know about her, her early life as a child and youth and she has become an interesting friend in her absence.  Sometimes it seems that she is still actively engaged with all of her friends in this broad network of Good Shepherd people that she founded.  She has become a certain special friend such that I often refer to her as ‘Rosie’.

So what was so unique about her that I would spend time to pen some thoughts about her?  Well, she grew up in a time of great upheaval.  Her Father was a doctor and her mother was a woman of great charity.  Together they served people during the French Revolution, a time of extreme violence, religious persecution and incredible social change.  While exiled to the island of Noirmoutier, they gave birth to Rosie.  As a young girl she was filled with adventure and ran free on the island.  She witnessed the routine trips of slave ships passing her homeland and was left with strong feelings about slavery that stayed with her until her death.  She was somewhat precocious as a young girl.  She had natural leadership qualities but did not attend school until she was 13.

At 14, her mother sent her to a friend who ran a school in Tours.  She wanted Rosie to learn how to be a young lady with more controlled and appropriate behaviour.  Rose experienced this separation from her mom in a very negative way.  Much like our children in care, she thought she did something wrong that caused her mom not to want her.  She experienced significant separation trauma.  While in this school, she was treated very harshly.  Even the priests there were very negative with her and she became very depressed and unhappy. Intergenerational trauma was no stranger to this young woman.  At age 10 her father had died suddenly.  She lost two siblings due to health issues.  While away at school, her mother died and she was not told about this until after the funeral.  Couldn’t even say good bye.

She had one teacher a younger teacher who saw so much positive in Rosie.  She truly believed in Rosie and Rosie experienced this significant relationship is a powerful way.  Largely due to the closeness that was developed, Rosie began to see herself in more positive ways and was able to tap into her natural resilience to find hope, new directions and a desire to help others.  She would remain sensitive to how to best serve young people by remembering how she had been treated.

She knew if she wanted to do something significant in her time, aside from just being the wife of some man, she would become a nun.  So she found the order of nuns,  Our Lady of Charity of the Refuge, who worked with young women who were from the streets.  These young girls were seen by society as dirty (because of their sexual exploitation) and low life due their lack of education and need to do anything to survive.  These girls and this work attracted Rosie in a very strong way. Her compassion was deeply stirred and she felt drawn to work in this mission.  Met with resistance everywhere, Rosie stayed the course and entered this order of the Refuge.  Within a few short years she was appointed superior of a local community (at an unusually young age) and was then sent to open a new refuge in Angers, France (The House of Good Shepherd).  It was here that she was moved to begin a new congregation that would be international and be free to serve the unmet needs of young women everywhere without local interference from the hierarchy of the local Church.  It was in this process that she began her timeless teachings of looking after young people and where she demonstrated a wisdom of the ages about what happens to the young when they experience trauma and how best to engage them to help the healing/learning process.

A trauma specialist once said, “Mary Euphrasia knew Neuro-Science long before science discovered it.”  Her timeless teachings have not only inspired the good care of young women over the years but remain as practical best practices that can give added value to youth care everywhere.  Her deep faith in her God and her deep faith in others are hallmarks of the gift and legacy of her work.  She founded 110 new missions in a short 33 years as Leader of this new congregation.  Remember this was in a time where there was no expedited mail, no phones, no email, etc.

Rosie shared numerous sentiments with her young sisters as part of their formation.  She remained humble and engaging but never forgot her own developmental years.  She was inspired to make those years for young women distinct: filled with respect, compassion and growth.  She shared once that “No matter what the color of their tears, they are always very bitter.  So above all else, always lift them up in their own eyes!”

She knew instinctively that helping young people to come to know their god would only come on the heels of having been  treated with deep love and care as human beings.  She knew it was more important to feed and clothe them properly and to plan their social time carefully so that they would feel good about themselves….so good!  Then, and only then, would their sense of being the child of their Creator be deeply experienced.

Rosie was keen about putting hopes and aspirations into action.  She was less concerned about what people said and more observant about what they did.  This spirit and attitude has been sustained in the Good Shepherd network for 180 years.  She knew that the proof in the pudding was in the experience of the young people themselves.  If their experience of self was not positive, then we will have missed the boat.  She would say,  “It is not enough for you to say you love them, they must know that they are loved.”

She was always deeply grateful for the blessings in her life.  These came from people like Ms de Lignac at her school who was the one key adult who believed in her unconditionally.  She found lessons in the painful observations of the slave ships near her childhood island.  She expanded her vision through the painful criticism and obstruction of the local bishop of Angers…she found a way around obstructions.  She found great pleasure in watching her young sisters grow and embrace a more keen way of looking after young girls.  She always taught how sustaining a spirit of gratitude was central to learning how to keep unity and to forgive others and oneself. It kept the mind and spirit in a positive mode.   A spirit of gratitude and unity would help cause great things to happen.  She knew deeply that gratitude was more than an expression of ‘Thank you’.  It was a deeply felt spirit that shaped our mind’s eye about others and the world around us…it was a more spiritual sentiment.  For that reason she would say:

“Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart!”

What the Heart Values is what Matters Most

I am not one to venture into politics in this blog.  However, the political events occurring in these times have been food for much thought over the past year or so.  So without getting political about Canadian or U.S. governing, I’d like to share some of my own meanderings that have been spawned during these interesting times.

When I consider political representatives, it behooves me to look for Leadership that touches the heart of the people.  Naively, perhaps, I believe that good people have a way of leading us with positive stripes that will help us uncover the right choices for decision-making.  So I always remind myself of checking my critical and negative thinking and warning myself to “be careful what you wish for”.

Letting myself engage in negative, judgmental ideas is destructive to others as well as me.  Exercising my right to ‘free speech’ is not, in and of itself, a justification for this.  Don’t we try, as parents, to teach our children that when you have a certain right there is a relative measure of responsibility that flows from that right? 

Perhaps some of the most crucial questions to ask ourselves include what it is that our heart most values in this life.  Has my system of values and beliefs developed such that I most value the diversity of our nation and community?  Do I value the dignity of EACH person?  Do I desire harmony and peace among people?  Do I want to be embraced by my community as one who truly belongs?  Or has my life experience been such that my system of values and beliefs desires exclusivity, a winner takes all attitude, fear of those different from me, and/or severe punishment for those to step on my/our communal toes?  It seems to me that the only way to answer these (and other) questions is not through debate and argument, but rather, through honest and open self-examination.

Our society has become very ‘secular and pluralistic’.  We express that there is not room for religion (Church vs State) to drive our social decisions because of the diversity of our religious beliefs and tenants.  Fact is, our value system is shaped by our hearts desires which have been shaped by our religious traditions.  OH MY GOD< what a vicious circle!  And yet, we allow ourselves to spew rhetoric both publicly and privately about retribution of all kinds against others who ‘step out of line’.  Yes we allow ourselves to say we are ‘true believers’ and still embrace capital punishment, we still push aside and blame victims of violence (refugees, women in domestic violence, children in mass murders) in order to express our inalienable right to say what we want whenever we want.  We feel we have the right to make life good for me.  We do not share the same passion about our responsibility to make life good for others.

So when I hear someone else who spews populist, angry opinions about others (even if it happens to well up a feeling of resonance for this sentiment), what do I do with those opinions?  Sometimes I jump on the bandwagon and then fall off flat on my face….because, that negative opinion did not resonate deeply enough.  Instead I try to think behind those motley, antagonistic views and ask myself what it is that I truly desire and believe.  None of us is perfect…There is a degree of discrimination, xenophobia, racism and sexism in all of us.  It is what we do with this and how we manage our place on the social continuum that truly makes us whole.

Of all the tenants held among world religions, the one we truly hold in common is the Golden rule:

                Love your neighbour as yourself.   Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If there was ever a time to bring the religions of the world together to come to an understanding of all that we really hold in common, instead of where we differ, it is now.  If there was ever a time when our fundamental belief in the Golden Rule is to be challenged and nurtured and grown, it is NOW!

Resist, my friends, from entering the fires of discord.  Resist the judgmental spit of angry, bitter persons who would rather destroy others and divide people than truly lead.  Let’s all ask ourselves what it is that is really held in our hearts, what it is that we truly value about life and the future of our world.  Otherwise, the warning I must give myself might apply to all of us.  “Be careful what you wish for”.

A faith-filled white man grew up and lived in the deep south.  He became a close friend of the great Thomas Merton.  His faith beliefs drew him to ask the question what would it feel like to be a black person, living in the south during his time (1950’s).  John Howard Griffin had his skin pigmented and he walked the south as a black man.  He then documented his journey in his book,  “Black Like Me”.  This journal brought a young, teenage jock to tears of profound compassion.  Unwittingly, I had the chance to meet him personally 8 years later.  During the wonderful times we were able to share he made a statement at one of our events.  He said:

“All that is necessary for the triumph over evil is that good men and women, living in the Beloved with integrity, do good over and over, again and again, together.”

Did You Get The Call!

This week I received an invitation from the Sisters of the Good Shepherd to participate in an international committee on community life.  The Sisters have made it a priority to explore how they might renew their way of living community that will be a deeper expression of their life giving mission and consistent with the nature of the covenant relationship between God and all of creation…his people.  This is a humbling proposition to consider.   They said that they want the work of this committee to be a reflection of St. John’s Gospel Chapter 13.  So in my consideration of this invitation I went to the Gospels and  found the story of the Last Supper where Jesus is said to have washed the feet of his disciples.  That was not what I was expecting!  I kinda thought the reading might be about a prayerful relationship with God or something about being faithful to the Word of God.  But instead the reading showed how Jesus, the Master, became the servant to his disciples by washing their feet, how he exhorted them to be a servant to others and to love one another in a manner that emulated his love for them,  He said,  “you must love one another as I have loved you.”    All of this was in the metaphorical context of, “Do this in remembrance of me.”

There is a lot to reflect on here, but my immediate thoughts turned to a song recently written by a cherished friend who is no longer with us except through his memory and music.  Bob Carty wrote the following lyrics “You Washed Our Feet” on his Desert Eyes album.  Making this old story alive in today’s world is about the challenge which the sisters are embracing with great courage.  Now I am excited about being a part of this journey.  I will share these lyrics so that perhaps we might reflect on them together and prepare to look at community life in new ways:

YOU WASHED OUR FEET

It was a table long ago. 
You got up, put down your robe
A towel on your waist you tied, 
a water basin at your side
You knelt to those who follow you, 
Took off their dusty shoes
You touched our skin, our sin. 
You washed our feet.

You clean the flesh I cannot feel. 
You tend the wounds that never heal
You push my chair when legs can’t walk. 
You are my voice when I can’t talk.

You carried me down flights of stairs, 
when all the world was in despair
When buildings crumbled at our feet, 
and dust and rubble in the street.
You washed our feet

If I have washed you, so you, the other
If I have knelt before you, so you, one another

You stand alone at the barricade, 
in lingering tear gas and pepper spray
You offer roses to police. 
The crowd cries war, you whisper peace
You washed our feet

You spoke the truth in Salvador.
You spoke of God to the dogs of war
You looked into their lying eyes. 
You lift the host before you die
You washed our feet

Bob so beautifully pictured love of neighbour in service to vulnerable persons, the tragedy of 911, the civil unrest in many cities and the struggle for Justice for the poor of El Salvador by Oscar Romero. Is this how we might wash one another’s feet, how we really kneel before them?   Perhaps this is the heart’s desire of our courageous sisters around the world working in many countries where social unrest, religious persecution, extreme poverty and neglect and the denial of the rights of women and children is rampant.  How do we all unite as one people of Faith to bring the servant message of our Creator to one another everyday of our lives.  Is this the basis of our call?

What does this say to you?  What new eyes do we need to put on to see one another through a different, life-giving lens?   In what way is the essential spirit of community expressed where you work?  Is your team a microcosm of community?  Are your clients the people whose feet you wash?  Are we meant to model love for others through relationships founded on real compassion and dignity?  How can we nurture this call in one another in our daily lives both at work and home?

Cell Phone Blues

This was an ordinary Winter day.  Massive snow squalls and wind causing white outs that made driving a great risk. I had not checked the latest weather thinking that the snow storms predicted had passed us by.   I had appointments in the city so decided I would drive down to make it to these.  MISTAKE!   Half way down the white outs became so brutal,  I decided that I had better head back to the farm to play it safe.  I stopped and went to call, canceling my appointments.  Voila!  I forgot the cell at the farm!

Found my way to the nearest wi-fi place to send a message.  Done, but my Outlook wouldn’t send the email.  So then I searched for a pay phone….ever try to find one these days?  Finally, success and I called to leave a message.  It wasn’t received in a timely way and so I inconvenienced a couple of fine people with whom I was supposed to meet.  Fought my way back to the farm thinking that the messages were sent and I arrived safely (Thank the Lord) only to find out that the messages were not received.  YIKES! 

Oh boy, did I ever feel naked and vulnerable without my cell.  What if I went into a ditch?  They would have to dig out my frozen body next Spring and then I would not be able to apologize.  I was not prepared for the worst even in terms of warmest clothing, etc.  What a brain cramp!

This all made me stop and reflect on the good ol’ days.  You know no cells, no email and plenty of pay phones that cost only a dime.  Made me think of what we would have done then.  Well for starters we would have more vigilant of the weather, more predictive of what lay ahead and made the land line phone call to give some advance warning.  If push came to shove, we might have used smoke signals or the pony express to get the message through!  Point is, we would have taken more personal responsibility for our own safety and the convenience of others.  I did neither so I owe apologies to both colleagues and myself.

Lesson learned? 

This makes me think back to the founder of the Sisters of the Good Shepherd.  She had no phones, email or anything other than ordinary letter writing.  In her life time (from 1835 until 1868) she established and maintained contact with 110 new missions around the world and stayed connected with each through faithful letter writing.  What a marvel of ancient technology!  This all has caused me to start to challenge myself  to a more faithful, relaxed and, yet, consistent manner of being in this modern, highly rushed society in which we live.  Less anxiety and more thoughtfulness might be the most revolutionary prescription we could issue ourselves in order to stay centred and healthy.  Think I will give it a valiant effort. 

But first, I need to go charge my cell phone, in case I miss an important message!