“Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart”

I feel compelled to tell you the story of a very special woman.  She was the Founder of the Religious Congregation of the Sisters of the Good Shepherd.  She is a saint and she lived a long time ago.  She was born in 1796 in France actually on the island of Noirmoutier, off the west coast of France.  She died on April 24, 1868.  She was baptised Rose Virginie Pelletier.  Over the years, I have come to know about her, her early life as a child and youth and she has become an interesting friend in her absence.  Sometimes it seems that she is still actively engaged with all of her friends in this broad network of Good Shepherd people that she founded.  She has become a certain special friend such that I often refer to her as ‘Rosie’.

So what was so unique about her that I would spend time to pen some thoughts about her?  Well, she grew up in a time of great upheaval.  Her Father was a doctor and her mother was a woman of great charity.  Together they served people during the French Revolution, a time of extreme violence, religious persecution and incredible social change.  While exiled to the island of Noirmoutier, they gave birth to Rosie.  As a young girl she was filled with adventure and ran free on the island.  She witnessed the routine trips of slave ships passing her homeland and was left with strong feelings about slavery that stayed with her until her death.  She was somewhat precocious as a young girl.  She had natural leadership qualities but did not attend school until she was 13.

At 14, her mother sent her to a friend who ran a school in Tours.  She wanted Rosie to learn how to be a young lady with more controlled and appropriate behaviour.  Rose experienced this separation from her mom in a very negative way.  Much like our children in care, she thought she did something wrong that caused her mom not to want her.  She experienced significant separation trauma.  While in this school, she was treated very harshly.  Even the priests there were very negative with her and she became very depressed and unhappy. Intergenerational trauma was no stranger to this young woman.  At age 10 her father had died suddenly.  She lost two siblings due to health issues.  While away at school, her mother died and she was not told about this until after the funeral.  Couldn’t even say good bye.

She had one teacher a younger teacher who saw so much positive in Rosie.  She truly believed in Rosie and Rosie experienced this significant relationship is a powerful way.  Largely due to the closeness that was developed, Rosie began to see herself in more positive ways and was able to tap into her natural resilience to find hope, new directions and a desire to help others.  She would remain sensitive to how to best serve young people by remembering how she had been treated.

She knew if she wanted to do something significant in her time, aside from just being the wife of some man, she would become a nun.  So she found the order of nuns,  Our Lady of Charity of the Refuge, who worked with young women who were from the streets.  These young girls were seen by society as dirty (because of their sexual exploitation) and low life due their lack of education and need to do anything to survive.  These girls and this work attracted Rosie in a very strong way. Her compassion was deeply stirred and she felt drawn to work in this mission.  Met with resistance everywhere, Rosie stayed the course and entered this order of the Refuge.  Within a few short years she was appointed superior of a local community (at an unusually young age) and was then sent to open a new refuge in Angers, France (The House of Good Shepherd).  It was here that she was moved to begin a new congregation that would be international and be free to serve the unmet needs of young women everywhere without local interference from the hierarchy of the local Church.  It was in this process that she began her timeless teachings of looking after young people and where she demonstrated a wisdom of the ages about what happens to the young when they experience trauma and how best to engage them to help the healing/learning process.

A trauma specialist once said, “Mary Euphrasia knew Neuro-Science long before science discovered it.”  Her timeless teachings have not only inspired the good care of young women over the years but remain as practical best practices that can give added value to youth care everywhere.  Her deep faith in her God and her deep faith in others are hallmarks of the gift and legacy of her work.  She founded 110 new missions in a short 33 years as Leader of this new congregation.  Remember this was in a time where there was no expedited mail, no phones, no email, etc.

Rosie shared numerous sentiments with her young sisters as part of their formation.  She remained humble and engaging but never forgot her own developmental years.  She was inspired to make those years for young women distinct: filled with respect, compassion and growth.  She shared once that “No matter what the color of their tears, they are always very bitter.  So above all else, always lift them up in their own eyes!”

She knew instinctively that helping young people to come to know their god would only come on the heels of having been  treated with deep love and care as human beings.  She knew it was more important to feed and clothe them properly and to plan their social time carefully so that they would feel good about themselves….so good!  Then, and only then, would their sense of being the child of their Creator be deeply experienced.

Rosie was keen about putting hopes and aspirations into action.  She was less concerned about what people said and more observant about what they did.  This spirit and attitude has been sustained in the Good Shepherd network for 180 years.  She knew that the proof in the pudding was in the experience of the young people themselves.  If their experience of self was not positive, then we will have missed the boat.  She would say,  “It is not enough for you to say you love them, they must know that they are loved.”

She was always deeply grateful for the blessings in her life.  These came from people like Ms de Lignac at her school who was the one key adult who believed in her unconditionally.  She found lessons in the painful observations of the slave ships near her childhood island.  She expanded her vision through the painful criticism and obstruction of the local bishop of Angers…she found a way around obstructions.  She found great pleasure in watching her young sisters grow and embrace a more keen way of looking after young girls.  She always taught how sustaining a spirit of gratitude was central to learning how to keep unity and to forgive others and oneself. It kept the mind and spirit in a positive mode.   A spirit of gratitude and unity would help cause great things to happen.  She knew deeply that gratitude was more than an expression of ‘Thank you’.  It was a deeply felt spirit that shaped our mind’s eye about others and the world around us…it was a more spiritual sentiment.  For that reason she would say:

“Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart!”